Thoughts

As I was rocking sweet Lu to sleep and watching her sweet little eyes get drowsy and close and then open to see I am still holding her and then close again I felt completely blessed. 

I am so honored to be a mom, everyone makes it out to be so hard, challenging and life changing.. well they are true, but in a wonderful way. I had no clue what kind of mother I would be. I was just getting use to the wife I was going to be. 

Alex and I got pregnant 6 months into our marriage, now we had dated for 5 years so the whole getting to know each other thing wasn't really a necessity. Right after we got married Alex started his internship for his paramedic, that meant every 24hrs he wasn't working at the department he was on an ambulance for 12 hours :45 minutes away from our house. That was the first 6 months of our marriage, so romantic right? Well the few dates we had together between my 3:30 am alarm clock for work and his internship/job we really made the best of. We tried to get creative and go wine tasting or take the back roads through the country to dinner and it really helped having that time together. I would give anything for those drives with him. 

Fast forward a year and 3 months from the day we got married and a sweet angel joined our little family. It was the greatest day. Still so overjoyed with having our sweet daughter we were able to figure out what kind of parents we would be. How we were going to raise our daughter and what kind of schedule she was going to be on. What foods she would eat, what diapers she would use, what toys we would buy her, and what dress she would wear to church.

As Lucy is getting older and she has her routines and they work well, I am learning to be ME! Be my version of mom and wife. I get the greatest joy from both. I never knew how God would use me as a mom, and some days I truly feel like he is still working on that. But I do know that I never knew I could care and love for someone as much as I do. 

 I cannot imagine how I would spend my days, and thoughts, and prayers if I didn't have my sweet little girl or my wonderful selfless husband.